the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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