tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize