New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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