Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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