Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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