Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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