I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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