It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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