I CAN MOONWALK!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize