There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize