Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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