Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize