who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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