i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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