THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
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If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
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40s are totally the cure
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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