Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize