Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
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If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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