i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
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