You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
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There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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