Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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