I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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