my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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