bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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