All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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