Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize