My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize