It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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