I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so that wasnt chicken after all
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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