Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize