There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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