We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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