If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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