K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize