she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
did i just pee glitter
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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