My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
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You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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