Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I love you. Go after that dick
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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