apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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