return my video game
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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