Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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