I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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me + whiskey = a bad person
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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