Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize