I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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