The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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