Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize