We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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