I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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