guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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