I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize