He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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