If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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